Saturday, August 13, 2011

Has anyone got an instruction manual for the Flushausen Crapalisa?

At a Suffolk bootsale I recently discovered a priceless Flushausen bespoke urinal complete with musical toilet roll dispenser which plays a charming duet rendition of Deutchland Uber Alles by George Formby and Dame Edna. I have contracted bird brained toilet loiterer Dimitry Klunk to install this masterpiece, yet we are as yet unsure of its installation or even orientation. The piece in question was made during Flushausens weird period which covers the period from his birth in 1931 to the time when he became obsessed with knees in around 2006. Flushausen, or old Jug lugs as his contemporaries call him, eschewed the commonplace elements of conventional sanitary ware in favour of a less indented unperforated design. While this gives a Flushausen toilet a certain uniqueness and pzazz it does little for some of the minor considerations that he viewed as entirely secondary such as taking a crap. This small deficiency has never been a bar to the true devotee of excretal porcelain and often a Flushausen installation is found in the company of a plastic bucket. Hence regardless of the irrelevant iniquities involved I feel it is important t to remain faithful to the spirit of the artiste and complete the installation correctly. So if any body could advise or even just tell me whether the spikes should face up or down I would be greatly relived, although obviously no thanks to old Jug lugs.

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