Christians, does the Bible say it's OK to own Canadians?

I'm a Canadian, and for a reasonable offer, you can own me. I *** with a life time guarantee (my life time). I'm hard working, polite, and know U.S. geography and history better than Americans. l have all my own teeth, shower often, and can load my own musket. However keep in mind our policy is no refunds after 30 days. Please send cheque (yes-cheque, not check) to: Canucks r us, box 69, station F, Inuit village, udum.